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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Mastering Communication 101 - Part 2

In the first part of this mini-course, we learned that listening is very important for effective communication.

Challenge 4

Translate your (and others) complaints and criticism in specific requests, and to explain your requests. To obtain more cooperation from the other, whenever possible, ask what you want from the specific, action-oriented, positive language rather than through the use of generalizations, “why , “” Don’ts “or” someone should’s. “Help your listeners explaining fulfill your requests with a” so that …”, “help me … If you want …” or “so ….” Similarly, when you receive criticism and complaints from others, translate and reformulate the request as a request for action. …. “).

Challenge 5

Ask questions more “openendedly” and more creative. “Openendedly …”:

In order to coordinate our work with life and the lives and work of others, we all need to know more about what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning. But our usual “yes / no” in fact people tend to be closed rather than open. To encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings, to ask “open-ended” rather than “yes / no”. Open-ended questions allow a wide range of responses. For example, by asking, “How did you get that food / cinema / speeches / doctor / etc.” Promote a more detailed response, “Did you like?” (Who could be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”). In the first part of the Challenge Five, we explore calling for a broad range of open-ended questions.

“And more creative …” When we ask questions, we use a powerful tool for language conversation to focus our attention and guide interactions with others. But many of the issues that we have learned to ask are totally sterile and self-defeating (for example, parents of a pregnant teenager, “Why ???!!! Why have you done this to us? ??!!!”). Normally, it would be more fruitful to ask “how” questions about the future rather than the “why” questions about the past, but there are many more creative possibilities that

Good. Billions of questions one might ask, all are not as successful or insightful, all are not as useful for solving problems together. In the second part of Challenge Five explore we call creative force with the questions many areas of life.

Challenge 6

Express more satisfaction.

Building more satisfying relationships with the people around you, express more satisfaction, pleasure, affirmation, encouragement and recognition. Because life compels us constantly to attend to problems and outages, it is very easy to see in life what is broken and must be fixed. But fulfilling relationships (and a happy life) require us to notice and respond to what is pleasant, excellent, pleasant to work, to food well cooked… It is the appreciation that made a relationship strong enough to accommodate differences and disagreements. Some thinkers and researchers in different fields have reached similar conclusions on this subject: healthy relationships need a basis of mutual appreciation.

Challenge 7

Adopt the “continuing education” approach to life, which makes improving communication an important part of your daily life. To get your new communication skills available in a wide variety of situations, you need to put them into practice in such a variety of situations as possible until, as driving a vehicle or bicycle, they become ” second nature. ” The seventh Challenge To practice your evolving communication skills in daily life, solving problems together, giving emotional support to important people in your life, and we appreciate the way you become a positive influence in Your World. This challenge is learning to see every conversation as an opportunity to grow in skills and awareness, every encounter as an opportunity to express more satisfaction, each argument as an opportunity to translate queries in the complaints, and so on.

Although I have a long road ahead of me to become a master of communication, I think that communication is an integral part of any relationship, be it at home, with friends, or at work. Research has always shown that a deficiency in this skills can completely ruin relationships. The foundation strong interpersonal skills is not just to make you hear, but also an understanding of where other people are coming from.

Technorati Tags: personal development, communication, relationships

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Mastering Communication 101 - Part 1

Communicating with others is a critical skill in business relationships, family, and romantic relationships, and is an essential part of any development effort. Do you find yourself often scorns others? Do you find it difficult to get your point across clearly? When it comes to communication, what you say and what you do not say is equally important. Being a good listener is absolutely crucial.

I decided to note my own skills with an online test. Here’s what I discovered: “Your results show that you sometimes have difficulty interpreting other people’s words and actions and to see things from their perspective. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. Remember that knowledge is an essential part of good interpersonal skills, must fit in the shoes of other people and a sense of what they feel, you can better understand them. With a little insight, you will be able to find out if someone does not understand what you are saying or if they are uneasy about a certain subject, and therefore adjust your behavior accordingly. Although you can usually sense what others feel and relatively well thought out, there is some room for improvement. There may be times when you pay more attention to the message you send, rather than how it is received. With a little time and experience, you will probably be able to further improve your vision. ”

Although some of the things said to me this test were hurtful, they are true. I have a lot of work to do in the learning and practice my communication skills - most of us do. Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. As with most personal skills, communication can not be taught. The practice is essential, as you may know what to do logically, but this logic, a lot of time is very difficult. It is possible, however, with a lot of repetitions, change your habits good communication skills. Especially because our personal relations are very important for us, we must be very conscious of how we communicate.

In my quest to become a better communicator, I came across a few things that I will have to overcome before they can:

Challenge 1

Listen more carefully and answer. Listen first and recognize what you hear, even if you disagree with him, before expressing your experience or point of view. For further your conversation partner of the attention in tense situations, be careful when first listening, and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially feelings) before you express your own needs or position. The kind of listening here between recognizing recommended approval or acceptance.

Recognizing another person’s thoughts and feelings does not necessarily mean that you approve or agree with the actions of that person or way of life, or that you are going to do what someone asks.

Challenge 2

Explain your intention to invite conversation and consent. To help your conversation partner cooperate with you and to reduce possible misunderstandings, important conversations begin by inviting your conversation partner to join you in the exact type of conversation that you want to do. More conversation will mean for you, the more important it is for your conversation partner to understand the overall situation. Many successful communicators begin conversations with a preface that goes something like: “I would like to talk with you for a few minutes about [material]. When the right time? “The exercise of this step would encourage you to expand your list of conversations and practice from a wide range of them.

Challenge 3

You express more clearly and completely. Slow down and give your listeners more information on what you experience with a wide range of “I-statements. “One way to help them get more from listening to your empathy is to express more of the five basic dimensions of your experience: Here is an example using one of the top five” I-messages “identified by various researchers During the last half-century: What are you seeing, hearing or non-detection? / “When I saw the dishes in the sink …”

Anytime a person sincerely listen to the other, a process of creation is under way in which the listener mentally he rebuilt from the experience. Other facets and dimensions of your experience that you share with easy to understand “I” statements, the easier it is for your conversation partner to rebuild your experience and understand exactly how you feel. This is also useful if you try solve a problem with someone, or attempt to express my appreciation for them. Expressing this treatment can seem to take more time than usual fast your communication style. But if you include all the time it takes to restore the daily lives of misunderstandings, and work through the feelings that accompany them not to be understood to express themselves more fully can actually take a lot less time.

We are halfway in this mini-course. Tomorrow we will continue our mastery of Communication 101.

Technorati Tags: personal development, communication, relationships

Simple Steps to Discover Your True Destiny

How do we choose what we should do in life, our career, our path in life?  It is a very hard question to answer.  Nobody actually teaches us how to choose our destiny.  In school we are bombarded with a variety of things for us to try, in hopes that we would eventually find something that we could stick with.  This works for many of us, but not all.  Everyone knows at least one person who seems not to have found his/her place in life.  There are even more people who are simply not happy with what they do.  As the matter a fact I would go as far as to say that most of our society could be doing better in that regard.  Most of us just accept our present situation, and think that we can’t do anything about it.  If there are a lot of unhappy people around, society in general is bound to be impacted.

So how do we address this situation? 

First of all I would like to say that there isn’t one thing that will allow all of us to become happy and follow our destiny with ease.  I think that the biggest thing we have to realize is that in order for us to find our real purpose in life; we first have to start looking!  I think intention, is the key element in actually achieving our goals.

Next, after we have decided that we want to find our ultimate mission in life, we have to look at what are the things that really make us happy.  I think that it could be most difficult undertaking, because in order for us to find the meaning in our life, we first have to get to know our selves.  Although this process can be difficult, it also can be very rewarding.  For example some people are very good communicators.  So good, as the matter a fact, that people always make fun of them, because they talk too much.  Their personality will work well in the activities that require them to communicate effectively with other people.  So they would probably enjoy profession such as a journalist or a sales person.  Then there are others who are more analytical in everything they do.  They might want to try something like being an engineer.  These seemingly little personality descriptions, can be very important indicators in our search to discover our destiny.

Here is what I did when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life.  First I wrote down all of the things I enjoyed doing (writing, teaching, personal development, trading on the stock market etc.).  Then I looked at that list and prioritized in order of what I would want to try and do first.  You see out of all of the things I enjoyed or wanted to do, I first and foremost wanted to have my own business.  So anything I would do would have to become a business, in order for me to be completely satisfied.  That is exactly how I started BurstCreativity.com.  This site allows me to teach, write, communicate, help people, but also it is an online business that allows me the freedom that I want - perfect compromise between my desires.  

It doesn’t mean that this is going to be the only thing I could be doing.  I could come up with some other activities that would allow me to fulfill the very same needs.  I also want to build businesses for example, so I am also involved in several other ventures. 

The most important part however is the fact that I try to choose what I do based on what I want.  My inner desires dictate what I do – and this is probably the key formula here.  Find out what you want and do it.

Technorati Tags: Career, Destiny, Path in life, Happiness