I went to personal development seminar once, and one of the concepts that they taught us was: “How you do anything, is how you do everything”.  Basically what they were trying to say was that if you are a person that will simply jump into the cold water, you will also carry that trait into other areas of your life.  If we take starting a business as an example, you would simply go at it 100%, as opposed to doing endless preparation before you actually do anything productive.

The “Simply jump in” attitude has both advantages and drawbacks.  One of the great things about this outlook on life is the fact that it initiates action.  Inaction is the greatest peril in the way of accomplishing absolutely anything.  Unfortunately we are all susceptible to it to some degree.  The flipside of this concept is that sometimes we can act too fast, and that bears a whole new set of consequences.

So what is the best solution to this problem of making our selves take action, but acting at the “right time”? 

I often bring this up in my articles, but balance is very important in anything that we do.   To apply this concept to what we are discussing – we should “simply jump in”, but at the same time we should also be able to stop out selves long enough to do some necessary due diligence. 

The other solution to inaction is a simple piece of advice – “Get over your-self”.  It might be a bit harsh, as a statement, but I believe that it is a vital thing to do in our life in general.  People tend to over analyze a lot of what they do.  Often we simply need to push ourselves to jump into the cold water, so that we can feel less cold after we do.

Last but not least, we should talk about having motivation to be able to “jump”.  It is easy to say that we should “just jump”.  The simple fact is that if we are not motivated to do so, if the reward at the end of the “jump” isn’t big enough to get us to do it, we simply are not going to jump.  This is a very crucial point.  Imagine that you are standing on the shore of a very cold ocean.  Would you be able to force yourself to jump into it if you didn’t really want to swim?  Probably not!  

People, who are exceedingly successful in life, all have one thing in common.  They all live their passion.  What would be a better motivator then being passionate about what you do?  So the very first thing you have to do before taking any action is to ask yourself a question – is what I am about to do what I really want?  And if it is, or it will give you something that you really want, or bring you to that place where your passion lives – don’t think, even if it is unpleasant at first, simply jump!

Technorati Tags: Personal Development, Success, Fear, Self Discipline

Like any addictions, smoking has a physical as well as a psychological aspect. Cravings are a common knowledge, but what isn’t widely known is that you can get cravings long after you have broken through binds of physical addiction. I was blown away that after 10 years of being smoke free all of a sudden I got an urge to light up.

It is well known that quitting is hard, but are there things we can do to increase our chances of success?

Let’s first of all look at what we have to overcome.

Physical addiction may seem the hardest aspect, but from personal experience I can assure you that it is not. It only lasts a couple of weeks at the most, while the body tries to filter out the toxins. I didn’t really do much to help the physical aspects of my addiction. But there are a few tools you can use. One of them is the patch. It doesn’t work for everybody, but can be very helpful for many people. The other thing we do not normally think of when talking about quitting smoking is acupuncture. This ancient tradition can not only calm your cravings but also help you detoxify faster.

Next step in recovery is battling the psychological aspects of addiction. I personally thought that this part was the hardest of the two. I actually had to quit three times before I did for good. The reason it took that many times to quit I attribute entirely to the fact that psychological addiction has much bigger grip on the person then the physiological aspects of addiction. I think what helped me the most in my recovery, was the fact that I really decided to quit. It didn’t matter how many times I failed and started to smoke again - I was determined to quit. There are however tricks you can use even in this endeavor. For example one of the thing I did, in my attempts to stop smoking, was that I chewed tooth picks. I think that chewing anything will do the trick, but for me tooth picks worked best. Every time I would get a craving I would put a tooth pick in my mouth and that seemed to distract me from wanting to smoke. It wasn’t a cure, but it helped a lot.

The last part that, personally, I found very hard to overcome was how other people affected me when I was trying to quit. The social aspect of smoking is incredibly powerful aspect of addiction. It gives us a sense of belonging, and for many of us including me, it is very powerful. When you decide to stop smoking and someone asks you to go for a cigarette, it is often very hard to say no. That’s how I started smoking again when I quit the first two times. I can’t really offer much advice about this. My best advice would be to simply stick to your convictions and be firm in your decision to quit.

All of the suggestions I proposed in this article will be a great help to you on your way to recovery from the addiction of smoking. This however will not guarantee success, only your determination will. If you truly will decide to stop smoking - one way or another you will. Just don’t stop trying, and your success will be guaranteed!
Quitting Smoking, Self help, Health

Technorati Tags: Quitting Smoking, Self help, Health

So why is it that it is so hard for us to both set goals and stick to them until we accomplish them? A couple of the biggest reasons are the way we set goals and the way we think about them. This can fall into two categories: we might be setting goals that are unrealistic, or we start thinking of goals as set in stone. Either way, when we do not accomplish them right away we get disappointed and end up abandoning them all together.

To help us make goals that are both realistic and easy to achieve here are a few tips:

- We need to be specific about the goal that we are setting. So “I want to loose 30 pounds” is better then “I want to loose weight”.
- Second, we need to know the time frame of our goal. So if it is something like “I want to develop a successful consulting business”, and we know that this will not happen right away, we should put it in the long term goal category.
- If our goal is big like the developing a successful business example, we also need to break it down into smaller, shorter term goals that you will accomplish first before getting to the final destination. Like “I want to make a business plan for my new venture” or “I want to find partners that will help me accomplish what I set out to do”.
- We also need to know when we will achieve this goal. So if we look at the business example, it can be something like “I will have a successful business when I will be able to cover all my living expenses from the profits of the business, while working only 30 hours per week” It is something very precise that will signal to us that we have achieved a desired goal.
- Here are also other questions we should ask our selves when setting a goal. Is your goal achievable and realistic? Is the time frame for achieving your goal acceptable to you? Are the costs and consequences of achieving your goal acceptable? Do you have all the resources you need to achieve your goal and do you know where to get them if you do not?

Another very important point about goal setting is that goals are meant to be constantly adjusted! If you think of goals as a guideline that highly depends on the circumstances surrounding it, you are on the right track. Situations in our lives change all the time. This is the primary reason why we need to constantly adjust our goal to make them fit into the new situations life presents to us. All we really have to do is monitor how we are doing with our goals from time to time. Make sure that these goals still correspond to our desires, and if they no longer do, adjust them or set new ones.

So what exactly do I mean by self discipline?

It is the ability to follow a schedule. It is also the ability to do things we need to do, when we do not want to.

The hard part is sticking to being self disciplined.

I always found that it works very well once you established a habit. When you establish a pattern of accomplishing one thing after another, it creates a sort of a flow. This momentum makes it extremely easy to be self disciplined. In my experience it is very important not to break that momentum. If we do, it becomes extremely hard getting back into the groove.

So how do we establish that habit of being self disciplined?

There are several ways of achieving great self discipline. Sports in general and martial arts specifically are a great way to develop this ability. I have done various forms of martial arts for many years and can tell you, from personal experience, how effective this method is. Self discipline within martial arts is achieved through following traditions that emphasize the reverence the disciple feels towards his master. That kind of relationship forces the disciple to follow his master without question, based solely on the respect for the teacher. This kind of relationship puts immediate personal desires of the student in the background, while the master guides him to achieve his goal. Essentially what that does is distract us from the inherit laziness we all have, and provides us with motivation to achieve our goals. When it develops into a habit, it carries over to other areas of our life, and can greatly enhance other experiences.

It is probably not healthy to be too strict when it comes to discipline. Some discipline is a must, but in all aspects of our personality we require a balance. If we are too strict it could eventually result in abandoning of the self discipline all together, as we would develop a negative association with whatever we are trying to be disciplined about. Let’s take jogging in the mornings as an example. Most people do not enjoy this activity. They have to force them selves to do it, because they know that it is good for them. They have to do it until they develop a habit of jogging, and then it becomes easy. Just think about it. What would be easier to get used to? Jogging in the morning in a snow storm or jogging while enjoying a beautiful sunrise. Our mind develops habits by repetition. So the more negativity it associates with an activity, the harder it will be to develop the self discipline to perform it.

Another very important area where it is imperative to be self disciplined is financial management. This part of our life can become devastating to us if we do not bring it under control.

The best part of any form of discipline training is that it is fairly easy to accomplish if you put your mind to it. It can be compared to training a muscle. When you exercise it on a regular basis, it becomes strong and healthy. Inversely if it is left unused, it will atrophy.

To sum up, self discipline is a must in our lives. We must practice it on a regular basis, but we shouldn’t forget that balance in everything we do is very important, so being over disciplined can be as bad as not having any discipline at all.